I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
