some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
