how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
