This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
