My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
