We won't sleep together?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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