No, drunk sperm still make babies.
only you would photoshop your dick
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
