Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
