Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
