I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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