Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
