Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
