i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
