how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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