never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
