Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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