HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
