That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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