That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
