Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
