He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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