dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
