Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
