I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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