About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
