I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
