If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
