Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i love accidental penises.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
