if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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