Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
