Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
