I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
