I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
