she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
