I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
