So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
