I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
