Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
