I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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