i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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