maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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