just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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