if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
