i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
