you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
