i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
