Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize