it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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