Buhtt sex?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Rumble strips road head = magical
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
