You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
