I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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