i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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